Saturday, November 18, 2006

pharmaceutical cornucopia

this week i have been suffering from yet another ear infection, which again makes me feel like i should be in elementary school. when i was little i had ear infections CONSTANTLY, and was practically nursed on banana flavored amoxicillin. i eventually had tubes put in my ears (holla at a girl if you are a fellow tube warrior), and this cured the ear infection epidemic. so i THOUGHT. a couple months ago i suffered from my first ear infection in, oh, 16 years. if you search, you can probably find where i blogged/bitched miserably about it at length. well, i guess my right ear was feeling a little left out of the fun and games so it decided to start its own trouble. negative attention is better than no attention at all, right? my right ear, though, really out did herself and put on quite a show. i couldn't get in to see my pcp, so i went to a doc in the box, which was a big mistake. big. mistake. she put me on pretty much the weakest antibiotic that they make, apparently not understanding that my ear was ROTTING FROM THE INSIDE OUT. nice image, right? she also put me on some liquid antihistamine/decongestant, i'm not sure the purpose of that, except to make me feel even more like shit. here is how our conversation went:

morgan: did i mention that i am in really excruciating pain?
not qualified healthcare professional: i see. well, you can take 600 mg ibuprofen every 8 hours.
morgan: that is what i would take if i had a splinter in my thumb that was mildly irritating.
not qualified healthcare professional: you can also take a tylenol in between the ibuprofen.
morgan: dumbfounded silence.
not qualified healthcare professional: i need to collect your co pay now.

needless to say, i did not see marked improvement after several days, so i called and pled for an appointment with my pcp, who tends to treat INFECTIOUS DISEASES with a little more aggression. my appointment was yesterday afternoon, and when i woke up yesterday morning with **black** discharge coming from my ear, i decided it was probably appropriate for me to go ahead and seek further medical attention.

i cried pretty much the entire time i was in the doctor's office. as a result, my lovely doctor who i love, she prescribed antibiotics that come in really big big pills (i take that as an indication of their power and effectiveness), along with $50 ear drops (AFTER INSURANCE), a shot in the ass (haven't had one of those in awhile-- it is always good to keep your ego in check by baring your cheek to a stranger), and some nice friendly narcotics. thank you mr. lortab, that will do just fine. i was also instructed to take 800 mg ibuprofen in addition to my little hydrocodone friends. my doctor, who i worship now, she did not seem alarmed at the black discharge, which surprised me, as i was sure i had developed gangrene in my brain.

i think i may be ready to come off my strict diet of crackers and ramen, and as i write this i am making my first public appearance (outside of a doctor's office) in nearly a week.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

i come home today!!!

get excited!

call me if you have free time!

Anonymous said...

Did you give up on your blog?