contains graphic content

i don't talk about the cats much, and i don't want it to seem as if i love them less than the puppy. the truth, actually, is that i love the cats all the time every day, and i only love mercy when she isn't shitting all over the house.

the cats love me too, so much so that they got me a special gift last night and left it on the front step for me. it was a dead bird.

this brings to mind two stories that i will share.

one morning, very early, i awoke to strange noises, and julie making cries of distress. there was something going on behind the dresser, and it soon became clear that moochie had managed to bring a bird in the house but had not killed it all the way. the bird was seeking refuge, and moochie was trying to finish what she started. julie was trying to intervene. she banished the cat, and got the bird out from behind the dresser. the bird is clearly not doing well, and though it does not have visible injuries it isn't really moving. julie then tells me that we have to EUTHANIZE the bird because it is suffering. she is devastated, but sees this as the most humane option. it is 6 in the morning. we take the bird outside. julie considers how she is going to KILL the bird. her first idea is to crush it with a rock. her second idea is to back over it with her car. she decides on a stray brick as her instrument of choice. she has the brick lifted high overhead, with the poor birdie lying helplessly on the back porch (picture jacob and isaac -- very similar situation) when, by a miracle of GOD, the bird is magically revived and flutters off, away from its alter of death, into the bushes.

the second story, also involving moochie, is a little more graphic. consider yourself warned. julie and i come home one night, and she spies something on the floor behind a chair in the bedroom. she inspects, and finds what appears to be blood. upon further inspection, she finds there is more blood. she follows the trail (much like a detective would do), which is getting increasingly bloody. she follows, and follows, until she finds a MASSACRED BUNNY. it was exactly like in a scary movie where they show the grisly shot of the murdered person all chopped up with the psycho music playing in the background and then they show the shot of the person who discovered the chopped up person with their face all aghast. and it really did look like someone had been murdered, for the amount of blood that was pooled on the floor and SMEARED on the WALLS. upon this discovery, julie squealed and ran into the bathroom and got in the bathtub, and closed the shower curtain, where she would obviously be safe from the killer. as it turns out, moochie ate the bunny's neck. it tooks us almost half an hour to clean up the carnage.

i want to add that, contrary to what these stories might lead you to believe, moochie is the most docile cat i have ever met. she sleeps all the time and is so floppy that sometimes i wonder if she has a skeleton or if she is just fluff and whiskers. she loves to be massaged and sometimes when you cuddle her she gets so relaxed that she drools. she can't help it that she is a killer. bless her heart.

we aren't sure who was behind last night's special gift, but we certainly know who has more experience with killing little cutesie animals. and it isn't bean.