nieces sleep over, episode 2

i think it was about 45 seconds after my oldest niece, makinzie, age 8, walked in the door, that she asked (pointing to mine and julie's love nest): "who sleeps in that bed?" i replied (to my sister's horror): "julie and i do." silence.

the only time i had any kind of serious heart palpitations was when jadelyn (younger niece, age 4) started an expedition into our bed side table. which i should have thought to put a child lock/DEADBOLT on before she arrived. i am NOT going to be the one to teach her, well at this age anyway, about sex toys. of any kind. she is going to have to be at LEAST 10 before we have the dildo conversation. kidding, guys. only kidding. maybe 12.

my big triumph for the weekend was when i had both of them drinking soy milk WITHOUT EITHER OF THEM REALIZING IT. i will triumph over the dairy demon, i will! next time i'm going to mash some tofu up into jadelyn's sippie cup.

jadelyn is having her tonsils removed on tuesday, which is a good thing because i was kind of concerned she was going to suffocate in her sleep last night. her adenoids must be bigger than my face, and clearly all of those unnecessary organs are blocking her oxygen flow because she GASPS for air between every sentence she speaks. she is wee-tiny extra small (julie's nephew just turned 1, and he weighs 2 pounds less than jadelyn who, let me repeat, is 4). the reason that she is tiny and looks about the size of the disney cartoon version of tinkerbell is because she burns so many calories at night trying to BREATHE. i may have stumbled on a brilliant weight loss strategy: obstruct your oxygen flow at night! watch the pounds melt away! i've heard people say that they panic sometimes because they can't tell if their sleeping kid is breathing or not, this would not be an issue with jadelyn. it's a good thing we have new storm windows because she snores loud enough that they might otherwise rattle out of their frames. it will be amazing to watch her gain weight once she can breathe....i bet she will expand like that blueberry girl in willy wonka.

i like to play mommy, but never for more than 18 hours. my weary soul just can't take the strain.