Wednesday, July 26, 2006

nighttime thrills

i have been told, by a reliable source, that i talk a lot in my sleep. i talk a lot in my awake, too, so i don't see this as any surprise. julie (aka relaible source) usually gets a great kick out of my midnight mumblings. but apparently, my nocturnal habits have taken a turn for the worst.

two nights ago, julie woke me up from a DEAD sleep. the lamp was turned on, and she was looking at me with enormous green eyes as if she had just witnessed some horrendous atrocity, right there in our bedroom.

me (alarmed): what's wrong?!???
julie: i'm scared.
me: what are you scared of?
julie: while you were sleeping, you just reached over and picked up that candle on the bedside table, and then put it back down again.
me: and?
julie: you're scary!!

she wouldn't let me go back to sleep until she got unscared, so i had to prop my eyelids open with toothpicks and pat her bottom until the terror had subsided.

i'm not sure, exactly, why this was scary. did she think i was going to light the candle, and burn her with it? or inflict some kind of blunt trauma to the head? the way that she was acting, you would have thought i had reached over in my sleep and proceeded to clean and load the assault rifle in my bedside table. or sharpen my sword that i keep under my pillow. she couldn't really give me a logical explanation as to why she was so upset....i can only attribute it to the fact that she is a little fragile when she wakes up. and by a little fragile, i mean that when woken in the night, she is pretty much on the very brink of complete emotional collapse.

a little disclaimer: i don't have an assault rifle. or a sword.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

One of my cousins was found by his mother, with a knife in his hand, in the kitchen, seemingly about to sever his big toe. Hmmmmm, cause to be scared?